To begin with: I am not great with needles. I don't get faint, but I am very squeamish. Nurses are fond of telling me that my veins are difficult, but I have, before today, had 2 successful and uneventful IVs inserted.
Today I went in for my CT scan, ordered because the doctor doesn't know what the hell else to do. Last night I had to drink 450 mL of barium sulfate "smoothie", which is way more liquid than is comfortable to drink at one time. The taste starts out pleasant enough, but by the end is associated with a queasy, stuffed feeling. After that, no food or water.
8:15 am, show up (on time) for my CT. They give me another 450mL bottle of barium sulfate to drink. Shit. Over the next 2 hours, as I wait, I choke down the milky liquid, its "berry" taste now imprinted as something grotesque. And I pee a lot, because I'm downing another half liter of liquid.
Finally, I'm called and led into a small waiting room, after changing into a gown. The nurse is going to start my IV. No problem, think I, since the last couple times went without a hitch. After all, this person does this procedure all day, every working day.
Start with my right hand. Tie it off, hit the fuck out of it. There's the vein. Giant needle, *sting* (normal), pain (huh...that didn't happen before), FUCK, PAIN!
Me: "Ouch! Christ!"
Nurse: "oops, it blew out the other side."
For her second attempt, while my right hand is still stinging like fuck, she warms my left hand. More tying, more hitting.
Me: "Ow, ow ow OW OW OUCH SHIT!"
Nurse: "oh, oh no it did it again." (notice "it". Not "I")
Me: *stares at her with palpable hate*
Nurse: "I'll just go get Lupe"
Now both of my hands are bandaged and quite painful. In what happens next, let me know if I'm out of line here, readers.
Lupe: "ok, we're going to try in another place. Oh, he looks like he's going to faint."
Me: (yelling) "I'm not faint! I'm in pain!"
Doctor: *peeks his head in. Makes a quick retreat.*
The new lady, Lupe, then proceeds to warm, tie, clean, and properly insert the IV the first time. The other nurse will avoid talking to me the rest of my time there.
I was then led into the CT room, where I was given ANOTHER GLASSFUL OF BARIUM. This one is "banana", and even worse than the previous one. Thankfully I think I was only given about 150mL of it. I then lay down on the table, my arms held over my head. The table moves up and then through a ring with a rotating x-ray machine. The disembodied voice says "take a deep breath and hold it" in a peculiar tone, almost as if the words themselves have no meaning. The table scans slowly through, and I got "and you can breathe" in an equally unconvincing tone. He says it like "and you can breathe! Which makes you superior to fish!"
They then pushed the contrast (iodine) into my IV. Lupe warned me: "they keep it hot, so you're going to feel really warm". Shit, she wasn't kidding. Instantly I felt like I'd been running. I was hot as hell and my heartrate climbed rapidly. They ran me once through the machine again, and I was done. The actual procedure lasted 5 minutes. The mental trauma will last a lifetime.
2 comments
Julianna
6/21/2007 at 8:23 AM (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Please let us know what the results when you get them Reuben. I hope they can find what is wrong with you.
This entry made me laugh. I had a CT scan early this year for stomach pain and I have never in my life had someone blow one of my veins out but that CT nurse managed to do it. She then went to my left arm and it hurt like a bitch after the needle was in, like nothing I have ever felt before. I asked if the needle was too long and fat in my vein, if that was what I was feeling and she said she must be near a tendon - WTF??? I can't tell you how many needles sticks I have received, but nothing at all like that CT nurse. She too was slapping and popping my arm -HARD- before inserting the needle. It was awful.
Oh, I finally had to call a week later for the results because it seems that all the doctors cared about was reading it themselves and placing it back in my chart and filing it.
The only result was "a foreign object seen in my anus" - WTF???!!!! When I asked my doctor what that meant, he said he wasn't concerned. I let him know I have never had any foreign objects in my anus (lest he wonder) and he still said he wasn't concerned.
I still have stomach problems and pains, I finally gave up trying to find out what it is and am becoming my own doctor. My whole wheat diet seemed to bring it on, I thought my coffee maker needed to be replaced (I read about the residue on old coffee makers, especially those with metal filters), I cut out wine, I'm not stressed so I am really at a loss.
I still probably have that foreign object in my anus that only I seem to be concerned about.
I hope you get answers.
Thinking of you and Jess,
Reuben
6/21/2007 at 8:46 AM (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Doctors seem to have a habit of ignoring things they find, and then saying they don't know what's happening. Someone close to me had severe neurological problems that her doctor kept investigating *after* they found a brain tumor. Of course, they found nothing else causing it. A second, more competent, doctor acknowledged that it was probably the tumor. Perhaps you would get a second opinion?
Sorry you're having pain. I know how it is. Take care.