Warning klaxons are going off in my head lately, as my significant other begins to exhibit an emerging behavior. Let me explain.
For one thing, she has begun to begin "whimsical" propositions with statements like "If we ever got married..." or "I wonder if we got married would we..." and "If you died, do you think I would still get to live here?" Right.
Also, here is a sample of webpages she has been reading lately. I'm forced to believe that Jessica is in the incubation stages (pre-ultimatem) of what the Germans call Kinderheirat?rger. It is generally incurable, and all that can be done is to put the patient down.
To this end, I have requested Jessica write me a legal letter authorizing that I get all her shit, and a reference that I am an "able-bodied boyfriend who only occassionally pokes her in the eye." You hear this ladies?
JOB POSTING
Needed: 1 female, aged 18-23, must have good bedroom skills and a willingness to live with an opinionated slob.
Benefits: Kittens, free ipod as a signing bonus.
Availability: within 3-6 months, I reckon